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I’m really hating my body right now. Its ugly as hell.

Thigh gap doesn’t reach all the way up, I hate having big boobs as it makes me look fatter, my ass is huge and hideous, my hips are way too curvy, my hipbones and collarbones don’t stick out nearly enough and my stomach isn’t flat, and the muscle on it just makes me look chubby as it ain’t a sixpack or along them lines. My spots are also playing up. I feel like crying, I hate this body and it’s Fucking hard to starve when my mother is always over my shoulder and threatens to take away the stuff that makes me happy when I don’t eat. Its killing me emotionally. I don’t know what the hell to do. I’m not a pretty girl. :l

Memories

Looking back at old pics, and new, wondering about what you said, was it ever really true?
Now I don’t know which way to go,
I’m lost and broken and feeling low.
You don’t miss me, no you don’t miss me baby, isn’t it crazy?
Cause you were all I had,
Now that I’m without you I’m going mad,
My mind won’t ever be the same
Cause you caused me so much pain.
“I’ll always care, I’ll always love you” he promised me
You couldn’t stay true though, could you.
You forgot me
Left in silence
You left me
My heart is silent

I’m finding it really hard to cope.
What’s the point of living life if it just contradicts.
We’re all going to die sometime. The thought itself is scary, but sends a shiver down your spine, how beautiful will the afterlife be?
People, are liars. They backstab, only use you for their own personal gain, and when you say no, you are, once again, alone. Of course there are exceptions, but very few.
Its so hard to find the will to survive, when I feel so alone. I may not be alone, but I feel alone. Being alone, and feeling alone are completely different, being alone is where you’re by yourself, and in no particular mood. Feeling alone, well, it creeps in. You start feeling numb, but then the loneliness creeps in, along with hatred, self loathing and pain.
I honestly hate the feeling. But love it, its a slow slow suicide that will never end. But then again, so is life, every day, every choice we make, brings us closer to death, we all are killing ourselves, but how come its only when people start hurting, that people realise? They judge, when they too, are doing exactly the same thing but in a different manner.
Life is a lie, friends end, and your fate is a fragile string under flame. Choose every decision wisely because it may just be your last.


Like, that wasn’t a suicide note but yeah. I feel like shit and alone. Contemplation in my mind but no intention of actually…. yeah.. have a more positive day than mine….

Tue moon is your main source of light in the darkness of the night. Don’t ever forget it whilst your examining the countless other stars.
#moon #stars #love #happiness #peace #emo #blackandwhite

I swear, I walk into hospital with one illness/condition(diabetes) and walk out with 3 new ones. Whenever I eat solid food I throw up, or feel violently sick. This is why you avoid hospitals, nothing good comes out of going to them :c
#Ill #diabetes #sick #down #5secondsofsummer #food #drink #liquidfoodnow #joy #not #sarcasm

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